Others-Centered Parenting

My daughter Emma likes to pretend that she can read. She’ll often flip through the pages of a memorized book and “read” to her younger brother. I was caught off guard the other day, though, when she picked a textbook (I think she thought it was a Bible) and began “reading” this story to me:

“Once upon a time there was a woman who had done bad things. So the mean people made a circle around her and were going to throw rocks at her. But Jesus stopped them. He said, ‘Haven’t you done bad things too? Then you can’t throw rocks at this woman’. The End”

I was stunned… where had she heard this Biblical account of the adulterous woman before? It’s not a typical choice for preschool Sunday School classes!! Then I suddenly remembered that I was the one who had told her that story a few months back.

Our family has continued to be involved with a young, homeless friend (I wrote about her a while back here). This friend, Samantha*, has weathered many highs and lows over the past few months. Addiction, life on the streets, a shattered home life, and various other barriers have kept her from being able to realize her God given potential and worth. Both of my kids (ages 4 and 2) know Samantha well, and she is very caring and compassionate toward them. However, Emma is a pretty observant 4 year old, and it wasn’t long before she would ask me more pressing questions about Samantha. Why doesn’t she have anywhere to live? Why does she look like that? Why isn’t she allowed to stay at our house anymore? She also began to resent the time that I spent with Samantha, not understanding why she had to join us all the time… “Why can’t it just be our family?!”

One day, we were driving home discussing a phone call I had received from Samantha. Emma could tell that it had upset me, so we were talking about it.

Emma: Did Samantha do something bad?

Me: Well, she didn’t make a good decision.

Emma: Well, I think she’s bad! She shouldn’t be able to come over anymore! 

Me: That’s not the way it works, Emma. We all make bad decisions sometimes, but God forgives us and gives us another chance; so we can do that for Samantha, too.

(I then told her… in preschool terms… the story of the adulterous woman above and what it means to “judge” someone as bad/good.)

I had all but forgotten about that conversation in the car until Emma “read” the story to me last week. I asked her if she remembered the reason why I told her that story. She did. In crystal clear detail she explained, “we need to keep helping Samantha even if we don’t want to because she has had a hard life and that’s why she makes bad decisions.”

At this point, my eyes were filled with tears. I continue to be hopeful that Samantha’s life will change… But honestly, there have been times when I’ve wondered if it’s worth it. All the hours, the “inconvenience” to my family or finances, the constant up and down… it’s hard! But this conversation with Emma brought me to tears because it reminded me about why we have tried to make service to others part of our family’s DNA.

When we serve, we’re sanctified. Sure, the person we’re helping may benefit, but each member of our family also gets a little closer to the heart of God with each “inconvenience” that we deal with on behalf of the marginalized.

My kids are learning that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that loving others is the best way to show that you love Jesus, and that sometimes loving others is Hard Work. My husband and I are still trying to navigate what this all looks like, but we’re thankful for the many families that have modeled this type of “missional parenting” to us.

I hope that when Emma remembers her childhood, she remembers a loving and warm family environment, lots of fun… but also a Jesus-centered family that put others’ needs above their own. That’s the goal, at least!

-Abbey :) 

*not her real name

P.S. We’re thinking about hosting a “Service-minded Families” training at Kingdom Causes sometime soon. It would be a few hours of learning together how to make service a family priority (for all stages of life, kids ages, etc). If this is something you are interested in learning more about for your family… comment here, email me at anishimoto@kcbellflower.org, or call 562-804-2189. Thanks!

Waiting

There are these things called wait lists. We hear about them all the time in the homeless services world. There are wait lists for Section 8. Wait lists for permanent supportive housing. Wait lists for new buildings being opened up. The term is as common as is the concept of a homeless neighbor. But today the word wait list sounds different to me. Tony was on a wait list for housing. I met him last fall, when someone from a local health clinic called my work to alert us to the fact that their very sick patient was also homeless. Tony was very polite when I met him, laughing that he couldn’t see his tattered social security card without his glasses. You could tell he was probably handsome when he was younger. He told me his story, and we connected the dots. He was from Downey and regularly attended the homeless breakfasts at Calvary Bellflower. He had participated in the folk lift certification classes at Kingdom Causes, so he knew the office where I worked. He explained that he’d been homeless for the last two years, and that he was suffering from poor health; he had heart disease and cancer – specifically, brain tumors. The timing of our conversation was perfect. We had just received word that we were going to be able to receive a limited number of housing vouchers for homeless individuals who were also currently struggling with health issues. My meeting with Tony seemed providential. We immediately helped him to apply for housing, submitting his application within the week. We were elated at the possibility of being able to help a neighbor in need by ending his homelessness.  But then that dreaded word surfaced: wait list. These vouchers were supposed to materialize quickly, we were told, but likely as a result of sequestration, the process slowed. We counted Tony as one of the lucky ones; his application was submitted just before the door slammed shut. The answer for him, unlike so many others for whom we submitted, wasn’t “no”; it was “wait.” And waiting is better than nothing. …right? And so, Tony waited. He checked in with his case manager faithfully every week, to which we responded that we were still waiting. The excitement at the possibility of housing diminished, as we sent emails, made phone calls, and pushed on systems that did not give way. On August 8^th, 2013, while sleeping next to a friend, Tony died on the street of natural causes. He passed away quietly, resting on concrete. He was 51 years old. He was homeless. He was sick. He was on a wait list.

Waiting is an interesting thing. Sometimes we wait patiently, without perhaps even realizing we’re waiting – waiting for a change of luck, waiting for the seasons to change, waiting for life to perhaps get better. Mostly, I think, we wait impatiently. When will I lose that weight? When will I get that raise? When will I meet that special someone? My boss recently commented that perhaps we do not wait with enough anticipation, enough almost anguish for the arrival of what’s hoped for. He was referring to the stance of the church, waiting for its bridegroom Jesus to return. What should our waiting look like, he pondered? What would it look like to wait with hopeful anticipation, deeply desiring the arrival of something good for which we long? The conversation makes me reflect: what are the things that we are too impatient for – the fruits of change to be realized, things to be more comfortable for ourselves – and what things should we be more impatient to see come to fruition -  the arrival of justice in our cities, the realization of compassion in ourselves. Tony died waiting. I don’t know if he waited with patience, with hope, with dejection. And while he waited, we waited also. But did we wait in the right way? Did we pursue help for the helpless, to extent that we were able? I believe that we did. But what then, do we say, when all of our waiting, and all of his waiting, produces this result?

The only thing I can think of is a phrase that has never meant much to me before today: “Come Lord Jesus, come.” We are waiting for your Kingdom. And I know that next time I utter the prayer, “Thy kingdom come,” I’ll mean it even more than I did last time that I said it.

"I thought it would be like a soup kitchen"

When we hear the words of the Great Commission, to “go out and make disciples of all nations” Christians often overlook our own communities.

                  But there is a certain glamour attached to helping the homeless. There is a soup kitchen mentality that exists. Many believe that the best way to serve the homeless is to literally serve them.

                   But that is not necessarily what helping a homeless neighbor looks like. Any time we have an idea in our head of how helping someone will turn out, God will often remind us of how awfully small we are in comparison to the wonderful world he designed.

                  At my second community barbecue of the summer, the first one ever held in Downey, there was a picture in my head of what it would look like, although I knew that the results would be unpredictable.

                  But there were plenty of volunteers and the tables were lined with fresh, yummy food. So if I have volunteers, and if I have food, the homeless would just HAVE to come, right??

                  After 5:00 rolled around and people started to pack up and leave, a handful of homeless neighbors had come by. But the last thing I felt was disappointment.  Amazing things had happened in two hours. A group of people who would not normally spend a Friday afternoon together were able to enjoy each other’s company. A man who was struggling to get an ID who had never heard of Kingdom Causes Bellflower was interested in learning more about the opportunities that were available to him. People, both neighbors and volunteers, were able to reach out, build relationships with one another, and get a glimpse of God’s Kingdom in action.

I heard a group of volunteers discussing their disappointment by their less than warm and fuzzy hearts.

One muttered, “I thought it would be like a soup kitchen.”

The other day a friend of mine was at an event where samples were being given, and when he had more free samples than he could bear, he offered a homeless man on the street a bag of pretzels. The man turned the pretzels down, and my friend recalled he felt insulted that the man would not take his free pretzels, “when he didn’t know where his next meal would come from.”

We have this stereotype of homelessness. Hungry. Dirty. Drunkards and Druggies. And we have preconceptions of what “helping” them looks like.

Like any stereotype, these characteristics do at times apply, but there is no reason to justify mistreatment, judgment, or complete apathy because someone seems to fit into a certain group of people. Nor does it validate our self-righteous attitudes when we set out to help those who are homeless.

                  The volunteers at the barbecue and my friend at the street event exhibit this mentality that they are doing those who are homeless a favor through hand outs and pity.

                  When our “good deeds” don’t turn out the way we expect, we often feel disappointed and discouraged. But oftentimes our good deeds are not what are needed by the community.  It might take creativity and good listening to truly understand what is needed of you to build God’s Kingdom, but when we listen and are aware of one another through building relationships first to even begin to understand a need, amazing things can happen in a community.

It is crucial to remain not only humble and selfless but to remain flexible, and understand that God has a plan for the Kingdom that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

 -Shannon Turner

Discipleship at In-n-Out

Rachel and I were feeling lazy last Saturday, neither of us wanting to cook or clean up afterwards so we decided to partake in a So Cal delicacy, In N Out.

After ordering,  Rachel and I sat down with our four kids at one of the concrete tables in the outdoor seating area to wait for our food.  As we were seated, I saw a homeless neighbor who used to be a regular in Bellflower, who I hadn't seen for at least a year.  He's in his early 40's but his dissheveled hair, stuffed into a beanie cap and weathered skin make him look much older.  I knew his face but it took me a few minutes to figure out what his name was.  Thankfully as we made eye contact the Holy Spirit reminded me of it just in time as he approached our table.  

"Hi Mike!" I greeted him.  "I haven't seen you around for a while,  you doing okay?"  

I could've answered that question on my own.  By the looks of him he's not doing well at all and he's been drinking.  In fact he's so intoxicated that he almost fell to the ground trying to take a seat at the table next to us. 

"Got any change?" he asks after making some unintelligible comments about his near-fall.  I can see that I must look familiar to him but the alcohol is clouding his memory.

"My name is Ryan, and I'm sorry Mike," I answer, "I have a policy that I just don't give out cash.  But I would love to buy you a burger.  You hungry?"  

At first he refuses but then comes around and says he'll take a burger. 

While we were waiting for our orders, I did my best to keep the small talk going.  We talked about football, cars, his youth growing up in Paramount and going to high school there.  My kids were silent... I wasn't watching them but I am sure they were wondering who this guy was and why he was sitting with us.

I could see that all of my questions and conversation was making Mike feel restless.  

"I gotta go walk this off a little bit." Mike uttered as he got up to walk around a bit.  

Again he almost stumbled to the ground before making his way down the sidewalk scratching his stomach and saying something to himself.  The girl at the table next to us tightened her grip on her purse as he stumbled past her table.   I caught myself dealing with a bit of fear too. "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I think.  "He's just a guy in need of some human interaction.  He's not going to get us.  We might feel uncomfortable, but that's okay."

The brief respite gave us an opportunity to talk with the kids about what an opportunity this was to love "Mr. Mike"  our neighbor.  

"Mr. Mike doesn't have a house." I told them.  "We get a chance to have dinner with him.  This is what Jesus would do guys.  This is good."  "This is good." I think, "this is discipleship in it's most impactful form..."

Mike came back and his table was now occupied, so we cleared a space for him at our small table.  Our food came first and so I offered him one of our trays of fries and my coke so he can eat right away.  I ask him if we can pray for him and he says, "Pray that I get my life back together..."  So we all pray, thanking God for our meal and for the opportunity to have a meal with this blessed neighbor. 

He says he doesn't want any fries so I reclaim my basket from in front of him but as I do he grabs a few fries and says "oh I just have a few."  His visibly dirty hands grab a four fries from the pile and I look at the rest of the fries with a bit of disgust.  "You should have the whole thing." I insist, feigning generosity to cover for my germphobic disdain. 

His burger finally came and we all settled in to eat.  I caught myself several times feeling uncomfortable about the situation, and wanting to finish quickly and not having much of an appetite for the food just minutes before I was craving.   

Over the course of our meal, while I struggled to move the conversation forward, my mind fluttered to many somewhat competing thoughts...  

I felt itchy thinking about his "germs" (he told us he has scabies) and way too righteous as the other customers watched our family.  

I looked at our fellow customers, narcissistically wondering if they were watching us, thinking about how "good" we were, or conversely how bad of parents we must be.  I am ashamed

I pictured God smiling on our tribe.  I imagined him smiling at our simple obedience and chuckling at my discomfort, the way a dad does when he knows his kids are learning a good life-lesson.  

I reflected on how we were experiencing the Holy Spirit empowering us to love someone who, like the lepers in Jesus' day, was outcast and isolated from the community.

As our dinner concluded and we parted ways, I notice myself marked by this ordained appointment with Mike.

I wonder... how can our family better love neighbors like Mike?  

Will we embrace people with germs and visible manifestations of brokenness like mental illness that makes them difficult to communicate with and prone to self-medication?

What would happen if you and I were SEEKING and making the most of opportunities like these that humanize the lonely outcasts living among us?  

What will God do in us when we engage in relationships, sharing a meal with a human friend, instead of taking the easier, cleaner route of giving a poor beggar our loose change in an attempt to assuage our guilt and so doing unintentionally feed their addiction?

My prayer for us is that God will make us more like him as he stretches us and crosses our paths with others.  I pray that he will give us His eyes to see our neighbors as He does.  Most of all I pray that He will give us the discipline and intention we need as a busy people to pay attention to the opportunities like these that come our way on a daily basis.  

Reflection on Engaging with our Homeless Neighbors

The following is a blog post from one of our KCB interns, Jessica. We are so proud of the way Jessica has immersed herself in the lives of our neighbors without addresses.

The value of community and relationships has been shown to me in the past month as an intern at Kingdom Causes. I knew God created us for relationships, but after spending several hours with our homeless neighbors I have realized how important it is for us to have relationships with all types of people - not just those who we have a lot in common. By spending time with those who have areas in their life that are different from ours, it challenges us to grow and expand our world view.

My time engaging with the homeless at Celebrate Recovery services and Saturday morning breakfasts at Calvary Bellflower Church have shown me so many wonderful qualities about each individual and their unique strengths. One of the women I have had the privilege to get to know is very thoughtful and starts each conversation by earnestly asking how someone’s day is. She is a young, beautiful woman, who may not have a home, offers so much to the rest of the homeless community and those with a home. She seeks out those who are sitting by themselves in the breakfast area, and isn’t afraid to leave her boyfriend to get to know another woman. There is also an older man, who usually has a quiet personality but when a conversation is something he is interested in brings out a big smile and laugh, with unique stories told about his life.

The culture that I have observed so far has been one that is very open and trusting of each other. Almost every individual actively interacts with one another and have formed close friendships, even to those who don’t live in the same park or riverbed that they do. They help each other find work and suggest places to stay when the weather gets bad, play card games together at almost every gathering or meal they attend and appreciate conversations with those who are willing to get out of their comfort zone and interact with them. I seemed to have done that so well that a few still question whether I am homeless or not!!

I have found that many find it difficult to look past the surface with a homeless individual, and in doing so neglect s to see the wonderful qualities that person has. The only difference between our homeless neighbors and us, is that we have an address. If people were to truly engage in conversations with those who do not have an address, many would be surprised to see how much we have in common. They are people full of life, despite their material losses. But how blessed are they that despite their hard circumstances, they are not lovers of money!! “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” (1 Timothy 6:10, ESV). They already have this positive characteristic, and we should all seek to see what other strengths they have to offer us!☺

Together we helped 35 people stay off the streets last month!

I am again so blessed to report that thanks to the direct investment of Calvary Bellflower and First Bellflower CRC we've been able to tangibly bless several families in our community this month that would have been homeless during the holidays.

Thanks again brothers and sisters... let's keep working together to love our neighbors at the point of their need!

Here's one of their stories:

C. V. – Bellflower Neighbor

Last month, a woman came into the Community Center in desperate need of housing. This woman had been in a domestic violence relationship for the past three years. As of a year ago, she was able to gain the strength to leave this relationship, which in turn left her homeless. When she left this relationship she lost all of her belongings including her home, furniture, clothes, her car and some of her family and friends. All she has had for the past year are the clothes on her back. Sadly, she would sleep in friends’ cars, motels and on park benches. Fortunately, we were able to house this woman locally. Our Program would not have been able to help this individual get off the streets and into a safe place to live without the finical assistance and prayers that we have received from Bell One and Calvary Baptist. Now that this individual is stably housed, she is able to focus on healing from the pain she has endured during her lifetime. She has attending bible study and support groups through local churches and is excited to gain a network of safe friends in the Bellflower community.

Can we end homelessness in Bellflower?

Have you ever seen a homeless neighbor on the side of the road and given a buck or two?  Or maybe you've gone so far as giving them some food but were left wondering if it really did any good? 

I have been working with our homeless neighbors for over a decade and I have had some of that same feeling.  I feel good about doing something, but I also feel a bit like the little good I've done is a "drop in the bucket", or worse that my well-intentioned help in someway contributed to the difficulties for these neighbors by enabling someone to stay in their current condition.

I have learned that any effort to end homelessness in Bellflower is going to be complex and must involve change and shalom at personal, legislative and systemic levels. 


That's why I am so excited about what God has been doing in our little corner of creation lately with regard to our homeless neighbors.  This month KCB is leading Bellflower Counts, a united effort involving the City, County, State and even National groups to end homelessness.  

This month we're working to organize over 50 volunteers to identify Bellflower’s most vulnerable chronic homeless individuals over the course of 3 days using something called the Vulnerability Index.  After we complete the surveys, we'll work hard to find supportive housing for the 12 neighbors we identify as most vulnerable, and most likely to die on the streets if not housed.


Our hope is that over the next year, we will be able to pair these 12 neighbors with local small groups or churches who will lovingly support them as they transition to being housed.  Some of the support could be helping to furnish their new places, including them in group outings or events, and generally praying for and checking in on these newly housed neighbors.

This effort fits with our ongoing goal of mobilizing the church to love our homeless neighbors together.  It's a part of a complex solution to complexities that homelessness brings in the lives of Bellflower neighbors living on the streets.  Contact Kim at kimb@kingdomcauses.org to find out how you can get involved!

Our Place Housing Solutions 2010

A Homeless Family Needs Your HELP

In early February, a woman reached out for our help. Her husband had just left her and their two daughters and she was forced to move out of their apartment because she could no longer afford the rent. She and her daughters slept in their car for a short time before contacting our Homeless Prevention program in February.

Although the woman works full time, her wages were being garnished because of her eviction so she needed assistance in order to move into a new place. We were able to get her into housing in early March and have been providing minimal rental assistance for the past few months. Our assistance will continue until the garnishments end in July and the family will become completely self-sustaining.

The family is thrilled to be in their own place and off the streets. However, they are still in need of some basic essentials. That's where YOU come in. They have a place, but they don't really have any furniture. Since they don't own a bed or a couch, all three of them sleep on the floor. If you would like to donate a bed, couch, or other household items to this family, please call Kingdom Causes and OPHS at 562.804.2189. It's a very tangible opportunity to love this neighbor who is getting back on her feet.

What do we do?

Cold Eggs and Reconciliation

"About a year ago, I beat somebody up really bad. Like really bad."

Kenny, the big, tattooed guy wearing a bandana and leather sitting next to me was reporting on "signs of transformation" he had seen since the last meeting of the Homeless Task Force, a group of Christians from several different congregations in Bellflower, who work together to love our homeless neighbors. Kenny, who had been homeless himself for many years before coming to know Christ, now serves weekly, building relationships with our homeless neighbors.

The transformation happened after the previous week's breakfast. At the end of the weekly meal where we serve 40-50 neighbors we had left over eggs and beans. We were about to throw away the excess when Kenny offered to load up his Harley and bring them down to the riverbed. As he walked down the embankment near the intersection of the 605 and the 105, the first person he encountered was this man with whom he had brawled a year back. Tensions were high as you might imagine, but as Kenny reached out and handed him the cold left over eggs reconciliation happened. This simple act of love and concern melted what ever conflict had remained between these two former enemies.

I am constantly humbled to be involved in the story of God's Kingdom work in Bellflower. I get to see God use people who most would consider too far gone, or damaged to minister his love and peace. I am blessed to see the Body at work, with our many gifts and backgrounds, all working in symphony as God uses us in His ministry of reconciliation.

what makes the difference?

The name of our program, Good Soil, comes from Jesus parable of the seed that is scattered (Mark 4). Some seed falls on thorns, some falls on rocky soil, and still other seed falls on good soil.

During 2009 I have worked with men who were part of this good soil, and they experienced radical transformation in their life because of Christ. Men have become members of local churches, become married, found full-time jobs, moved into homes, and worship Jesus with great passion. Their testimony has given me fresh hope in the limitless power of Jesus.
I have also worked with men who currently seem stuck in thorny or rocky soil. Life is filled with thorns that keep them from reaching their potential.
The strength that I’ve found in the parable is that God has called me to be a sower, but the power is in the Word. When I am obedient and share Scripture, I can trust God to do the rest. Scripture is active and when we share how it is impacting our lives, we plant the seed and let God work. So as I look to 2010 I am renewed in my excitement to share God’s word with the men of Good Soil and to watch how it transforms both our lives.

Eavesdropping on a Thanksgiving Luncheon

I wish you all could sit in on this...

A group of Christians, including a local retired pastor, host a weekly Bible Study in Thompson Park for our homeless neighbors. Today they are using the front of our community center to host a Thanksgiving Lunch.

Pastor Dan is playing the ukulele (a skill he picked up in the last few months of retirement) and leading the group in the song "Rejoice in the Lord always again I say rejoice." The diverse group of 20 neighbors is attempting to sing the song in rounds. It's awesome!

He just shared a Bible story and I've never heard so many enthusiastic "Amens!"

I'm sure God is smiling right now. I am.

OPHS - Now Hiring

Our Place Housing Solutions is now hiring. Please visit our website www.ourplacehousingsolutions.org for job descriptions.

Submit resume and cover letter, no later than October 23, 2009 to: admin@ourplacehousingsolutions.org. No letters or phone calls please. Resumes will be reviewed as they are received. OPHS is committed to non-discrimination and equal opportunity in employment.

What do we do?

Today I spent a few hours with a homeless neighbor and her two young kids. We travelled down to Long Beach to see about getting them set up at a longer term shelter.

I wish I could say that throughout the whole process I remained utterly selfless, acting in the Jesus-like way that I'm supposed to. Sadly, I did not. After two hours of trying to entertain energetic preschool boys in a crowded government facility, I was less than chipper. I was concerned about when I was going to get lunch, somehow forgetting that this mom didn't even know if she was going to eat again in the near future.

Despite the imperfections in my attitude, I learned a lot about a piece of society that I don't often interact with. Long lines, endless referrals, dirty conditions, and judgmental attitudes are realities that this mom has to deal with every day. As I sat with her today, the questions kept rolling through my mind, "How can I best help her? What am I supposed to do? Is there any hope at all?".

I wanted to save the world in one afternoon. It's not going to happen. But I can start with being kind, with treating her as my friend and neighbor, rather than my client. I can choose allow my heart to be broken by the poverty of body and soul that I saw today. And I can pray.

What can you do?

The Church being church

I’ve seen followers of Jesus making conscious choices to impact the lives of their neighbors. I’m excited about what God is doing in and through them.

Jim Tanis has put a new front porch on his house so that he can hang out in the front and get to know his neighbors. What a great idea!
Jane Nishimoto helped orchestrate multiple churches to host an Easter Egg Hunt for 1500 people!
Leticia takes time from her busy schedule to find jobs for her neighbors.
Claudette uses her limited financial resources to cook a meal for the homeless each month.
Mark Garcia tutors Algebra 1 students who have fallen behind.
Betty, Leticia, Corrie Harb, John Davis, and Teri Larsen have faithfully met each week to help K-6th graders with reading and homework, and have used the time to strengthen relationships with families in the neighborhood.

These are just a few of the people who have inspired me lately. Thank you for all you do!

Of Homeless and Hummingbirds

Lately, several homeless neighbors who come to the weekly Homeless Outreach on Saturday mornings have been hanging out in the parking lot after they get their showers and before breakfast starts to enjoy some fresh air. In the interest of building relationships with these men I decided that I would get some fresh air too.

Last Saturday I noticed that Jerry*, one of our homeless neighbors who lives in his late 90’s model Lexus, was pacing methodically in the corner of the parking lot.

“Mind if I walk a few paces with you?” I asked.
“Sure.” Jerry shrugged.

As we walked our circuit we talked about his diabetes, about his interest in science fiction (he reads at least three books each week) and about how he walks these paces each morning “to get the blood flowing.”

After walking and talking for several minutes I noticed what looked like a small green walnut, and after looking closer I realized it was a baby hummingbird that had fallen from it’s nest and was sitting there in the parking lot scared and helpless.

“What should we do?” I asked Jerry.
“Not much we can do. My dad told me once, you can’t save everything.” Jerry responded, as he resumed his pacing.

As I stayed behind looking at this vulnerable bird, I wondered what to do. “He’s probably right.” I thought. Just then, Jaquie pulled into the parking lot. She works for the County as an animal control officer and she came over right away. She picked up the bird and in moments had whisked it away to her home where she would feed it and care for it until she could bring it to a hummingbird rescue the next day. She called me later that week to tell me that she had been successful in getting the little bird a place in the rescue where the staff would feed it every 20 minutes for several days until it was strong enough to survive on it’s own.

When I first started working with our homeless neighbors I was hopeful about our ability to help everyone we met. Then after a few disappointing experiences with neighbors who made “one step forward and three steps back” I noticed that I began to operate with a degree of cynicism. I would like to call this “informed discernment”, but I sometime use the “you can’t save every[one]” line as a rationale for my increasing emotional distance from my neighbors.

That cynicism is challenged each time a new volunteer joins our ranks. Just like Jaquie came and helped me see that we could indeed help the hummingbird, new volunteers come with a new skill sets and new hope that inspire me past my hopelessness.

I realize that while I cannot save everyone, God’s body, with its diverse gifts and ever growing faith can indeed help everyone, even if it is simply to minister hope through relationships.

*name changed

Good Soil Video

A different kind of memorial service...

A week ago Sam and I hit the streets with some sack lunches for our weekly outreach to the homeless neighbors in our vicinity. Sam is a recovering addict who deals with some pretty tough disabilities (bad heart, partial blindness) yet who feels compelled to give back. He has been well loved by one of the local congregations and he wants to share that similar love with our other neighbors. His story is probably worth a separate post.

Anyhow, our first stop last Tuesday led us to Jim, a man who lives in his 90's Oldsmobile Cutlass. He was parked in the Big Saver Grocery parking lot and when we shared a lunch with him we asked him if he had seen Dean. Dean is a regular in the area who we have seen in and out of rehab. He's an average sized man in his fifties with thinning gray hair and a face with an appearance that tells of years of outdoor living and alcohol abuse. We've known Dean for several years. We once helped him get into the Salvation Army rehab center, only to have him kicked out for smoking indoors. After he was kicked out of rehab last fall he ended up back on the streets in Bellflower, and in rougher shape than ever. He was experiencing auditory hallucinations and fairly incoherent.

Jim, the man with the cutlass, immediately told us that he "was sorry to be the bringer of bad news... Dean passed away yesterday." A sadness came over me that I didn't expect. We had just seen him two days earlier... and now he had passed away? Quickly, I started calling people and encouraging our homeless neighbors to share the news that we would be having a memorial service a the community center the following week. The word went out and the homeless community was saddened.

Last Saturday, a few days before the memorial service was planned, the team at Kingdom Causes Bellflower was hosting a training at the center for local churches. WHile I was presenting, another homeless neighbor named Jim peeked his head in the door and interrupting my training said, "Dean's not dead." What? He's not dead? Could this be true? I dismissed it as the hopeful musings of an inebriated friend. So, yesterday, the day before the memorial service, I sent Joel to the hospital to find out and sure enough, he confirmed the news...Dean was alive. He had had a seizure of sorts and was in bad shape but he wasn't dead... WOW.

Rather than cancel the service and try to inform everyone before hand we instead decided to continue with our plans and to gather his friends for a time of prayer and a celebration meal. About 15 friends showed up, all in varying degrees of sobriety. We talked about how the story of Lazarus in the Bible tells us that Jesus knows what it is like to have a close friend who is sick and dying... and that he has the power to heal, and even raise people from the dead! Our prayer time was incredible... raw, scriptural prayers prayed for a friend close to death. Sam was back and he shared a challenge that only a recovering addict can give... "What's happened to Dean should cause us all to look in the mirror. He's in the shape he's in because of his drinking... and self abuse. If we don't change...then we might go down the same road."

Everyone said they were thankful for the time to come together to pray for their friend... to have a meal together. Many stayed to help clean up. It was one of the most meaningful experiences I have had since I started getting involved in work with the homeless.

My prayer remains that God would continue to surprise us. That many more of hour homeless neighbors, especially those who we have assumed are too far gone in addiction, or too self destructive, would be found to be alive, renewed. Lord come quickly to save.

Redeemed Memorial Service

Last week we got some bad news about our friend, Dean. He died. We made arrangements for a memorial service at Our Place for tonight and invited all of his friends. On Saturday during the middle of our "How Do We Help" training with local churches, a homeless neighbor busted in the door to let us know that Dean is alive. We were confused but excited to hear the good news. He is sick but he's not dead. We decided to hold a prayer service for him instead of a memorial service. So as I type, his friends are sharing their prayers for him. It's amazing to hear their raw conversation with God about a friend. They are vulnerable and honest. God hears them. I feel blessed to listen in. I feel blessed to serve a God who hears us all.